I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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