you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
