I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
