You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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