I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
