Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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