Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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