Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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