is wine microwaveable?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
