he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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