I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
