shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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