the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize