I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize