I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The air taste purple.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
