I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
