whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize