the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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