dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
