my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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