i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
