speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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