I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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