Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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