I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
