so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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