I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Come on in and take your pants off
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