She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
