There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
