Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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