she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
