Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
