Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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