OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
