is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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