you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
