Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
