I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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