Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
