I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
