she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
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she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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