you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
