I wish you could order shots online.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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