There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think people are normalizing furries
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
