Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
