Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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