She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
