I wish i was in the wii world.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
