The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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