did you get engaged???
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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