So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
