I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I need moral support for this bender
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
