its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
BRING THE BAGELS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i think i just lost a toe
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
