i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize