So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
