We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize