weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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