Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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