you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
