Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
