20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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