I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
