His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
