we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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