Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well you can't waste a boner
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
