Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how can u be prego again
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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