also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
