I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
