Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
