I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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