also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
